It’s mid-September, and though it may not seem like it in many places, seasons are changing and Fall is here.
I love Fall because of all of the things that come with it: pumpkins (and pumpkin spice), apple cider, harvest festivals, crisp air and sweater weather, and, of course, the changing leaves.
When the leaves start to change, I always get really introspective. Maybe it’s because the season coincides with Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur—the Jewish High Holidays—which are a time for reflection and celebration or maybe it’s because the days get darker a little earlier, and I feel like wrapping up beneath a blanket.
Whatever it is, Fall makes me think about ways I have changed in the past year—both on the inside and out.
I want to shine a light on change—because change can be scary, but it also can be amazing.
Dealing with body changes
Our bodies change all the time. Not just because of weight, but our proportions change, which means that clothes can fit a little differently, and we don’t feel like ourselves.
If you’re anything like me, dealing with body changes can bring up some major emotions.
This was especially true when I was pregnant, and my body was changing daily. Early on in my pregnancy, I just felt uncomfortable in clothes. I was in denial, uninspired and feeling like a style victim. I let my body insecurity affect my style, and my unsatisfied style affected how I viewed myself as a woman.
How messed up is that!?!
Our bodies do amazing things while we’re pregnant—we’re growing a human—and that should be celebrated!!
Once I decided I wanted to showcase my belly and my changes, to show it off as the incredible miracle it was, I felt free.
Embracing my new size and getting new clothing was liberating, and dare I say, fun!
I work with so many women who fret about body changes—pregnant or not—and I remind them all that every body is beautiful, even if it doesn’t feel or look like the body you had yesterday. The important thing is to find clothes that accentuate YOU, and show off your beautiful, wonderful, inspiring self in a way that makes you feel awesome.
Of course, some changes can take some getting used to, and they may even make us feel like we are not ourselves.
Adapting to change
Right before my book launch, I dyed my hair. This was something I used to do all the time pre-baby and pre-pandemic, but for a few years, I’ve gotten used to my natural color.
With the change of the seasons and exciting new life events, I thought—why not!? Let’s have some fun! So, I changed my hair…
And it was a shocker.
Have you ever changed something about your hair, and then freaked out after it was done. There was no going back. The change was made. Now what?
That’s what I thought. Now, my stylist is fabulous, and the hair looked great, but something felt off.
And I cried. I cried a lot. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see myself. And I thought, oh my God. I’m about to launch my book and I chose not to be me during it.
After a few days of worrying about it, I had a couple of conversations with some really close friends who know me and get me. They reminded me this:
Just like India Arie said: I am not my hair. And in that song, she said “I am the soul beyond this body.” I am always showing up.
So my hair color might change the colors of clothes that look good on me or my it might change how I style myself, but that doesn’t change anything about who I am. The person I am and the amazing, incredible expertise that I bring and inspiration and wisdom that I bring.
I might have changed my hair, but that doesn’t change who I am.
Dressing for change
Since change will always be a part of our lives, there are a few tips I have to think about styling yourself for change.
For those of us here in Southern California, we may not have drastic season changes, but that doesn’t mean we can’t dress like we do! For California “Fall”, I recommend mixing around with colors, patterns, and textures, which is surprisingly easy once you know how to do it. The best way is to start with a color palette of 3 to 4 colors. Then… Just go have fun!
If you are in a colder climate…. Let’s get creative with layering. A fresh way to style is to take a turtle neck and layer it under your favorite summer frock! Whether it’s a ruffled blouse or flowing dress the turtleneck will give you that fall feeling without much effort. Also pop on a pair of ankle booties or combat boots for an instant fall feel.
One of the best ways to dress for a changing body is remember that the wrong silhouette can over accentuate the wrong areas of your body. Especially when we start laying on the fall fabrics. So start by dressing to celebrate what you love. Identify the areas of your body you are currently loving and dress them up in bright color or pattern to draw the attention there! Or you can use bold jewelry or sparking shoes too!
And, if you’re like me and just changed your hair, it’s important to remember that those first days may be a shock. My mom has the best reminder when this happens.
She says, “You know what the difference between a good hair cut and a bad hair cut? TWO WEEKS.”
I laugh every time but she is right. Just give it a few days—or even weeks—to even out. You also may notice that if you change your hair color that the colors you wear may feel different. And you are right! So trust your gut, if something doesn’t style well with your new color, set it aside for now and try a new color or you can always be safe with neutrals.
Just remember, your hair is just a part of you, and YOU are the style.